Alice Goes Down Under; Julie and Julia Rules

This weekend, we spent our hard-earned cash on Alice in Wonderland because we’re pretty much Tim Burton fans. We started being fans around Beetle Juice and well… never stopped. His movies are creative and crazy and just a ton of fun. But well… Alice is lacking. Sorry. It just is.

The visuals are pretty cool. The Tweedles, the Jabberwock, the Catepillar, and the Cheshire Cat are amazing. I particularly love Ches, as his big green eyes and blue stripes are a particularly good look for any cat. And he’s charming. Who wouldn’t love him?

What Shannon (my daughter) and I took umbrage with was the script. It totally sucked! Alice in Wonderland (and it was really more Through the Looking Glass) is supposed to be fun and funny. With few exceptions, it wasn’t. The story was bland and the dialogue barely made me smile. Bummer. I had such high hopes for that. Read the rest of this entry »

The Wolfman: Love to Be Scared?

The WolfmanJust came back from finally seeing The Wolfman with Benecio del Torres and Anthony Hopkins. I loved the old Universal film, and didn’t really have high hopes for the remake. Really. Hollywood NEEDS good content because 4 out of 5 films that we waste money on these days are thin of plot, character, or acting or just plain bad. So, after being highly disappointed in Shutter Island last week…  Let’s just say, I figured The Wolfman wouldn’t measure up to the old film.

The beginning is a  good boo, though, and it definitely has several other seat jumpers. There’s a scene in the Gypsy camp that would make Maria Ouspenskaya, the original Maleva (the Gypsy fortune teller), proud.  Geraldine Chaplin (Dr. Zhivago’s wife in the movie of that name and Charlie Chaplin’s daughter) gave a fine performance and it was interesting to see her in a role. I haven’t for a long time, and after just watching Dr. Zhivago a week or so ago, the resemblance to her young self is dramatically changed. Still, there was no mistaking her. Her eyes are her dead giveaway.

Actually, all of the acting was very good. Anthony Hopkins is, as always, remarkable as the father. Benecio del Torres played a good Laurence, and I kept trying to place Emily Blunt throughout the film. She was a very good Gwen, and my daughter reminded me that she was one of the sisters in Sunshine Cleaning. Aha! moment. And of course, Hugo Weaving was a good Scotland Yard detective.

The story was a tad off the original, though. Rather than Gwen being a shopkeeper in the town, she was Laurence’s dead brother’s fiance.  She didn’t seem all that broken up  over her dead lover, and rather quickly became enamored of the living brother (del Torres), too.  I mean, she didn’t seem to shed a tear over poor Ben, and almost gave up her life trying to save Laurence. So quickly? One kiss and she’s ready to die for the guy? Please! I mean, I could see some warm feelings, but give up your life for someone you hardly know, who’s a really real monster. Nah… wouldn’t happen.

I don’t care who the person is. If you’re hovering over me with your fangs bared, your claws ready to rip my throat out, and really, really bad “I just ate someone’s intestines” breath… I’d have to shoot you. Sorry… That’s just how I roll.

There’s another spot that made little sense to the story, but telling you would be a spoiler and well… I HATE that so I can’t tell you, but look for the reason that the brother died. Pretty lame-o and highly contrived.

Anyway, The Wolfman was a good movie to watch on a bleak, rainy Saturday afternoon, and though I enjoyed it, I could have waited for DVD. Next week… Alice in Wonderland. Looks fun, and love Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. Plus, the story well… I grew up with it, didn’t you? I don’t care how old you are, I’m sure that Alice has been on your tube or hopefully, in your books.

The fact that few people read anymore is really, really disappointing to me. But that’s another post.

The Wolfman gets 4 stars for the acting, but loses a point for the story, which I feel is rather poorly crafted.

Gonna write my own danged movie. In fact, I’ve had one started for years. :)

Shutter Island Is a Clunker, but…

So, this weekend I watched a couple of movies (as always). I actually watch an average of one movie a day. I really love the art of film and am really hooked on killer dialogue, intricate plotting, and great character development.

Shutter Island, which we have been waiting to see for months, has almost NONE of that.  Leonardo DeCaprio is a terrific actor, but he had a really obvious story in this one. I mean, it was so easy to figure out the plot from early on that it made the movie rather boring. It wasn’t frightening. It was sad.

The dialogue was eh… just eh…

But it was all about character. I just don’t think they presented any of them well enough to make it less boring. I couldn’t wait to leave the theater and that’s not usually how I react to a Scorsese film.  I mean, I love him in the gansta genre, but this just wasn’t up to par. I’m sure others will disagree with me, but let’s match I.Q.s, OK?  The plot was so frickin’ obvious that it pissed me off.

On the other hand, I watched a movie on HBO yesterday morning that was pretty terrific! It’s one of those pleasant surprises that you don’t expect. In fact, I never watch films on Sunday morning, and really hadn’t planned to take a couple of hours out of my morning, but hey… Read the rest of this entry »

Zombieland & Percy Jackson…

This was a great week! Two good movies to tell you about.

The first one was really a surprise. I hate zombies, zombie movies or anything having to do with frickin’ zombies. They’re just gross and not a lot of fun. Don’t get me wrong, I grew up loving horror movies, especially those of the Poe variety, but zombies were just never my cup of tea. Vampires… sure. Even Hellraiser. But Zombies? Feh.

However, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed Zombieland. The black comedy is set around a twenty-something nerdy boy loser (Jesse Eisenberg), who finds his talent, which is of course, killing zombies.

The premise is that people ate mad cow disease burgers (think I had one of those last summer… argh) and started turning into zombies. Now, there are only a few people left who are still human. The rest are all trying to kill off the few, right?

But Eisenberg’s character, Columbus, has these rules of engagement that are just hilarious: #1 Cardio. You can’t run from zombies if you’re obese, and guess who the first dead people where? Bummer. #2 Beware of Bathrooms. That’s where the zombies have you at … shall we say… a disadvantage. There are actually 32 of these rules and one is better than the next for laughability.

And then, there’s Woody Harrelson.  His character is Tallahassee and he’s a typical Florida redneck, and thank god for those in a zombie attack! No kidding. They have the trucks and the guns. Who’d you rather hang with? The Pope? Come on…  Anyway, he’s just awesome and funny and really made this otherwise gross and sickening movie a scream. No fear. Laughter.

But for a movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat (somewhat) try Percy Jackson: The Lightning Theif. Wow. GREAT mythical beings in this one. Kudos to the people who created them, really. They’re really awesome.

The story surrounds Percy, who’s Poseidon’s son, but doesn’t know it until Zeus decides to blame him for “stealing his thunder”… literally. Of course, Percy didn’t take it. Didn’t even know it existed, but he can hold his breath underwater for 7 minutes and has no idea why.

Lots of cool Greek mythology interwoven into this story, though some of  it is wrong. The whole Hades, Persephone, Demeter thing is totally bogus, but only a purist would recognize that. The film is just fun and worth seeing.

I give Zombieland 4 stars (coulda been 5, but lost a point for vomit) and Percy gets a 5. Kind of a kid pic, but oh well… aren’t we all still kids at heart?

The Lovely Bones Is a Great Film

Have you seen The LovThe Lovely Bonesely Bones yet? If you haven’t, you totally should. It’s a very well done and creative film from what could have been a real downer story.

It’s about a fourteen-year-old girl who was murdered.

Bad news, right?

You’d think so, and it’s certainly a tragedy in anyone’s dictionary of life, but the way the story in The Lovely Bones was presented, it was less sad and more about letting go. It was in some regard about finding the killer, but we know who he is right from the start. Read the rest of this entry »

Daybreakers

DaybreakersJust got back from seeing the new film Daybreakers with Ethan Hawke and Wilem Dafoe.  As vampire films go, it was better than all the nicey-nice vampires we’ve been seeing lately. I mean, come on. Vampires… Evil… Kill people.  Generally, they have no soul. Right? All this Twilight stuff has me rolling my eyes.

Wouldn’t say Daybreakers is a great film, but it’s entertaining enough, if you like scary, gory stuff. There are a couple of good boos in it.

What’s It About?

The premise is that most of the world is vampires in 2014, and the human blood supply (which a corporation run by Sam Neill has been harvesting) is almost gone. The human race is becoming extinct.

The vampires are trying to come up with a substitute blood for human blood because when they don’t get any for a while, their ears start looking like Mr. Spock’s, their hair gets rattier than Alice Cooper’s, and they get realllly ugly.

Ethan Hawke, as the head hematologist for Sam Neill’s corporation, is trying desperately to come up with this alternative blood, but nothing is working and well… I’ll let you see the film.

Gets like a 3 out of a possible 5 star rating from me.

No Words to Hang On

But then, I’m tough. I really don’t like most mundane films. I live for great dialogue, no matter what the topic of the film is, but I have to say… Daybreakers totally doesn’t cut it in that department.

I mean, come on… Angel was a vampire. Good dialogue and lots of lines you could guffaw at. Plus, David Boreanz wasn’t hard to look at, right? And there’s Supernatural. Lots of ugly monster-types, and even Lucifer has a sense of humor.

Nobody has a sense of humor in this film, and for me, that makes it flat.  Not even one clever line. No cleverness? Doctor Who would be mortified.

The acting is OK.

The action is OK.

The blood and gore is outrageous. But um… Vampires.

I’d wait until it’s on DVD and you don’t have anything to do on a Friday night. <Yawn>

However, they do use Placebo doing “Running Up That Hill” for their trailer, and I have to give them 5 points for that.